I've been playing online poker for seven months and, after
having some success, I decided it was time to stretch my virtual
legs and try another one of the hundreds of poker rooms in
My credit card company had other plans.
My first trip into an online casino was great. Seconds after giving
up my credit card information I was at a table going all in against
some guy from Norway.
But last week, when I tried to open an account at a new Web site, my
card was declined. Then it was declined again at six different
sites. I felt like one of those desperate guys I've seen at the
casino ATM so many times, except that I was in my pajamas.
I called my credit card company and they told me they no longer
allow deposits into gambling sites. I explained that I'm an adult
and if I want to play cards in my underpants that was my business.
The customer service agent told me it was company policy not to do
business with Internet gamblers.
OK, fine. How do they feel about sex, drugs and guns? I decided to
Getting full access to an adult Web site took less than two minutes.
I won't tell you which site it was, but I will tell you that the
women at the private schools I've attended didn't behave in such a
While the sex was easy to get, the drugs were more difficult.
I found a very professional-looking site called anaboliczstore.com.
I don't know if it's endorsed by baseball players, but it has both
kinds of testosterone: real and synthetic. I opted for 25 tablets of
Sustanon. This is a very popular anabolic steroid used to bulk up
quickly, and for $34 it could be at my door in a week.
The catch was I had to set up an account at a third-party Web site
to pay for my purchase. The approval process on this site was fast,
and I was told I could safely make monetary transactions with other
approved Web businesses. I was warned it would not complete
transactions with gaming sites, but buying illegal testosterone
pills wasn't a problem.
My last test was on a friendly little site called gunbroker.com.
It's eBay for people who like hunting, militias or just blowing
stuff up. Setting up an account was as easy as giving them my e-mail
address and credit card number (which was instantly approved).
For $160 I won an auction for a Charter Pathfinder .22-caliber
handgun apparently being sold from a hunting store in Missouri. Not
surprisingly, buying a sidearm from an out-of-state weapons dealer
didn't cause any problems with my credit card company. I was
relieved when the dealer said he wouldn't send me the pistol until I
faxed him over a copy of my gun owner's license.
I wish my credit card company cared as much.
An e-mail from the credit company's PR department said dealing with
gambling sites is "high-risk" and to "protect our cardmembers from
any fraudulent activity on their accounts, we do not accept online
gambling transactions." Where were they when I wanted protection
from those schoolgirls? They seemed very naughty.
Poker sites deal with the fact that credit card companies think
underwear-clad gamblers pose more of a threat than perverted,
pumped-up sharpshooters. Just fork over your checking account number
and they have full access to the place where all of your money goes.
My wife didn't even have that until we were married for four years.
So I'll have to wait to find a new poker room, and I'm OK with that.
I'm just glad I'll get the 'roids in a few days. The Cubs need a
power-hitting left-fielder before September.
NEXT ARTICLE >> Introduction to Texas Holdem Strategy
- 3 Concepts
Long-term profits in Holdem come from making bets with a
positive expectation. You only have a positive
expectation when your payoff is higher than your risk.
is Not Just a Game Of Chance
I'm sick of people treating poker like any other gambling game.
Admittedly, many poker players are gambling degenerates who will
probably lose their money regardless of what happens, but that
shouldn't incriminate the game of poker.
Insider Tips For Finding A Great Online Poker Room
Even though they look pretty much the same and they're all selling essentially the same few games, all Online Poker Rooms are NOT created equal!
Here's a few things to consider before you plunk down your money.